A glimpse of a Gaudi, Barcelona

A glimpse of a Gaudi, Barcelona, originally uploaded by - di.

I wonder which is worse - the longing to travel or the return?

The new and the exotic break me out of my routine, the possibility of being lost or not understood changes my psychology.

And then there is the return to all that is known and while it is good, there is this process of return that I haven't quite mastered ... or perhaps it's not something we master ... perhaps it's something we survive, a corner we turn, a state of mind we need to re-enter.

So today, instead of launching myself out into a new and unknown world I am contemplating the debris of our breakfast, my disastrous desk ... and my luggage over there by the couch while playing that new song, hearing its question ... am I who I want to be?

I have an EU affairs manager phoning me up about the details of a job for December today, and I hope to hear more about the Middle East project this week.

Now I've put the word out that I'm willing to travel to work, I'm never quite sure where I might wander next and yes, to answer the song's question, that is who I want to be.

I am a creature who has always struggled with routine, since the time when I was so small that my mode of escape could only be my little 3 or 4 year old legs or the red and white plastic tricycle and my mother would be phoned to come pick me up from the school next to our house. And if a locked gate was involved, I could climb too.

I have always struggled with routine even while finding it comforting ... like the huge cosy blanket on a couch near a wood-burning fire with a good book and a labrador for company on a stormy day.

It's a love/hate thing, as I launch myself into the unknown I wonder why and what what drives me? but it has always been that way with me.

So, to work.
I have started on the new to-do list which is, of course, an old one reworked ... Diede & Francien, Hunter, Newsletter are there at the top of the list today, sharing the space with dishes, washing, and unpacking..

I hope your day is a good one.
Tot straks.