Friday, June 19, 2009

1.40am ...

You know, I get that I don't have a respectable reliable career, I'm a photographer, even worse - I love wandering. I veer off into conversations where I mutter about light, 'Did you see the light?!' is relatively commonly heard but by crikey, it's a highly stressful up-and-down world that I inhabit.

Gert comes home with stories from work, elections are stressful times for example, and friends look at my travelling life sideways, not seeing where the challenges might lie but seriously, if I were to blog the story of my life as a self-employed person, as a Di creature, I might just make the hair of some stand on end.

These are days where I am exploring free and grand adventures and networking versus paid and marketing (still waiting on my flyers.). It's about somehow not working all the time and stopping to breathe. It's about my heart jumping around in my chest most days and it's about all my doubts that I can make this work so that the Belgian government gets its many slices but leaves me with some, and don't even ask me about New Zealand.

Maybe I should rename this blog 'Di's Nice Blog' where her truths are selectively told, writes this smiling woman.

It's just that some days are so incredibly difficult and others are charmed.
But that's life, isn't it.

I had just had the biggest drama unfold here in the last hour. Those involved might laugh at me for finding it big but it's too complicated to write of and anyway, I rarely tell 'those' stories.

Sleep deeply.
It's late here and I'm in Brussels in the morning.


parlez-vous-kiwi said...

Kia kaha x

Nessje said...

Veel sterkte (the ingeburgerd version).

Or maybe a nice cuppa and a gingernut? Either way I hope the new day brings better times.

Peter said...

I've been there Di: noticing hands on how hard it was being self-employed in Belgium.

And I've been there too, blogging about the nice bits, as my current unedited realty would make the hair of many stand on end.

I guess it like a rollercoaster: the highs are superb, but the drops appear just plain frightening at times.

But I'm convinced you can make it work: you have numerous people who care around you, with lots of grand adventures just waiting around the corner.

And sometimes, I wish I'd be a character in your journey of ongoing adventures.

Enjoy your upcoming summer travels!

[just around the corner in Antwerp(en ;-) ]

furiousBall said...

you may not have a "reliable, respectable career" but you are making some amazing art with your photography my friend. You have a bunch of fans in a little town in Southern New Jersey whenever they come by my house for laughs and wine.

RD said...

You live the life of an artist, Di. Bohemian, free-spirited, and rewarding in ways that aren't always tangible. But I would hurry to assure you that your career is very respectable, utterly respectable. To create art by documenting the world around you, and in so doing bringing people together--I'd say that's the most respectable of careers.

Shashikiran Mullur said...

I'd love it if you wrote the "selective truths." I've always admired the vigor you bring to your day (as I see through your blog) and to read the "deeper-Di" would be truly inspiring.

Aah, the angst of the artist!

Di Mackey said...

Thanks parlez-vous-kiwi

Nessje, I like the idea of a cup of tea and a gingernut, or a Superwine biscuit from NZ

Things will improve, this is only a matter of stopping to realise a few things then move on in a better way.

Indeed Peter, life as a self-employed person in Belgie is 'interesting' and challenging but I feel like the sheer bloodymindedness of a kiwi might win through in the end.

I do appreciate the curator of my 'art' in New Jersey, Van. Thank you. Hope to come visit sometime within the next year or two. Let's see how it goes.

RD, I do need you to come over and convince me sometimes :)

I was photographing a picnic today and walked away realising that it is a delicious life, I just needed a wee bit of time to dust myself off.

The 'Deeper Di', oh Shashikiran, you can't imagine the highs and lows, scrapes and everything else. I have moments of pure delight and then yes, as you saw here, the complete and utter angst of a tired photographer.

Truly inspiring ... hmmm :)