Mark, Cellular Engineer

Our first problem was how to spell his job title ...

His next problem was persuading me not to write what I wanted to write ... he was laughing, I promise.

The third problem was the lack of photographic evidence of his existence ... hmmm, although I know there's an anonymous group photograph on his blog that I could cut and paste him out of.

Sharing this realisation with him earned me a series of photographs from his childhood.
Good enough, said I ... for now.

Yes, you might say I woke in a particular mood this morning.
There are days when I wake slightly demonic and your best hope is to be out of my reach.

The day began badly again ... this time I completely forgot to light the gas ring for the kettle, as opposed to merely forgetting to put the kettle over the flame ... clearly evolution and ancestral knowledge has passed me by in some areas.

And before you laugh, realise you could be witnessing the sad beginning of my descent into forgetfulness.

Anyway Mark brought this post on himself by demanding my presence on skype via sms. I obeyed and began ... I felt his 'ohdeargod' down the skype line.

He's known me long enough to recognise this mood and the dangers of engaging me in conversation when it's upon me.

Could he keep up with me conversationally?
He tried.

Was it wise for him to critique the photographs I sent him for his opinion?
He learnt it was not.

How do I know him you ask?His dad was the principal of my primary school when we were little. He and his brothers were the boys-next-door who partook in many a game of bullrush and other childhood pursuits.

These days I am his European chorus; the one who sings 'Come to Europe, and drink wine with me ... you need to wander and there are many beautiful women over here'.

Beautiful women?
Well I had to think of something that would appeal to this Kiwi bloke-friend of mine. I pointed out there are many women here who need a man who speaks with an amusing accent, enriching their lives in the ways that I enrich Gert's life ... yes, Gert now says things like 'I'll have a wee bit of that' and 'Actually' but he pronounces it my way ... as in 'exually'.

Although successful in life, Mark has many questions about the quality of it. Oddly enough, shy though I clearly am, I also want answers to his difficult questions like ...

If he is such a good photographer, why is he messing around with his career in the telecommunication field? Sure, he's successful and his life is good and he has money but what happens to the photographer's muse if not exercised?

Why doesn't he travel more and why isn't he out in the world, pursuing M.S.M ... the American love of his life? Okay, that might be more about the resulting police interest if caught 'in pursuit' of Mary, the famous actress.

Anyway, this is part one in an ongoing series of 'Mark'. I'm hoping that his family and friends will read and write in, sending more photographs ... most particularly BB, who now owes him for sending me the photograph of him and his little ukelele.

Tot ziens.