The piece of my life (and how good it seems today)

One of the things I've learned to do, in this odd and unplanned life of mine, is to go with the flow.

If it can't be changed, then make the best of it ... although there have been one or two challenges to this claim of mine.

I haven't been able to get back to New Zealand.
I lost my free flight home while caught up 'in process' in this crazy country that is so in love with paperwork.

I lost my flight home and I couldn't work for the 1000euro airfare until I was legal. Finally married and legal, I had to refinance my life, slowly building a foundation for the business of photography and teaching ... getting cards printed, buying the photography website template, paying someone to code it, etc...

Gert had experienced a quietly spectacular asset-stripping divorce before meeting me, so if anything, I've been a burden to him as he continues to hand over income for his children and pay off debts from his previous marriage.

We've cautiously done stuff anyway... travelled to Spain but paying Ryan Air's unbelievably low fares and staying with Erin who had been our guest earlier in the year. We came home and held our breath till the following month ... not regretting a moment of it.

It's been difficult because people have seen the action and not realised the reality.
It's made some people who saw without knowing the truth of it all rather mean.

It's been a shitty year in so many ways.
I'm looking forward to the day when I take my income and go get my hair coloured again, or buy shoes simply because I like how they look.

It hasn't been all bad because it's been character building (even if I did whine sometimes) and I discovered photography and had time to blog and I have met so many interesting and good people.

Yesterday, after two hellishly horrible days, I finally got confirmation that my daughter and her daughter are flying into my world in April - thanks to those involved in organising it. Even writing this makes me want to cry. I could barely sleep for 'planning' last night.

Jessie and I were close from the moment she was born. I simply fell in love with her, something I didn't expect because I had always preferred dogs and horses over dolls and girly things.

She's a remarkable young woman who has probably given me most of my grey hairs ... and I love her.

When I flew out of New Zealand back in 2003, I was trying to climb out of the pit of my life post-divorce. I completed my university degree and discovered a degree majoring in literature, with a minor in anthropology isn't the most useful degree.

It came down to a choice, I was working two jobs at the time ... as an office clerk in an agricultural company and for a photographer friend who, with his wife Jude, gifted me a lovely working environment that kept me sane.

The choice was to spend another year studying, heading over to Teacher's College and a bigger student debt, or to accept a friend's offer to work as a private school English teacher in Istanbul. I said no to my Turkish friend twice, then flew out into a new and scary life alone in the big city of Istanbul.

My daughter was 16 at the time and not very interested in listening to me ... as is often traditional at that age. I left her with her dad and extended family around her and flew out.

A long story followed and new characters appeared in the 'theatre' of my life ... enter stage left, a granddaughter, oh and stage right, there's this Belgian guy.

If a psychic had ever predicted my future pre-2000 I would have known that she was a fraud ...

In the 90s my life was so different ... I was driving a station wagon with a small child and a golden labrador in the back. I was married to a teacher who, in a moment of mid-life angst, signed up and spent 4 years as an education officer in the NZ Airforce ... we were a respectable family unit. I wrote, I played with photography, I worked whenever it was possible but we lived in a few small towns over the years.

Fastforward 10 years and here I am, beside myself with joy that my '10 year old' daughter flies in in April; that I'll meet my grandchild again - I was there for her birth, and that my Belgian husband will get to meet my lion-hearted daughter who is actually 20 years old.

I was talking on the phone with her last week and we were remembering when we were living together after the divorce, she was a teenager and she moved between my ex and I ...

She said, You know mum, I've lived with a few people since you and you were so easy to live with...

We both laughed because there is no way that my teenage daughter could have said those words back then.

So, I'm back blogging and smiling like an idiot as I type ... life is good.